Aishah Ansari

Tuesday Truth #1: Yes, I left UT Austin

March 30, 2015

I'll admit that after my last post, I became a little hesitant. 
What if I'm judged for what I share? What if people don't like what I share? What if people thinks it's a plea or something? What if people don't understand it's coming from sincerity? 
But then I remembered, no matter where I am, doing what I'm doing- people will always have something to say. So, to be honest, if you don't have anything nice to say... Buh-bye. 
 I have decided that on Tuesdays, maybe not every week, but as often as possible, I will reveal a truth about me, my past, experience, obstacles, etc.
But, I am really happy at where my life is right now. Especially after everything that has happened.

Truth #1: I left the University of Texas at Austin after a short {but what felt like forever} three months of being there. 

I was on top of the world when I made my decision to attend UT Austin. That meant moving and being away from my family. But I was ready, I was confident, and the strongest I had been since 9th grade, in my opinion. 
But then in a matter of three months, my world, dreams, everything came crumbling down and I was drowning in the debris that surrounded me.Yes, I was so excited to attend UT Austin, but one thing after another- I realized it was too much for me all at once. Too many adjustments. At the end of the day, I was miserable. I saw the signs, 
 I knew I had to pull myself out before I hit rock bottom. If I was miserable there, what was the point? It would was affecting my health, well-being, grades, and the 'social life' I was struggling to build. I shut myself out from the world, I didn't want to explore anymore. I was exhausted. It was a struggle to wake up in the mornings. But, I would {eventually} get out of bed, throw on a t-shirt and jeans and threw on a sweater on top of that. I wore my Nike sneakers and wore my hair in a pony-tail.
  If you've followed my blog or follow me on instagram, you know this is NOT how I all. Even if I wear a T-shirt and jeans, there is something that I add to it, whether it be a statement necklace, nice sunglasses, something... I'm just not a T-shirt and Jeans kind of girl.
After my classes, I came straight back to my apartment and locked myself in my room. I barely ate, and {clearly} didn't care how I looked anymore. After weeks of crying, I knew the feeling was too familiar. I wanted needed to go home. Before I knew it, my family's support was behind me. The fact that I found someone to take over my lease in North Campus near the end of October...let's just say I took that as a sign. I was packed and ready to move back home in less than two days. I was ready to be the person who I was when I first moved to Austin. 
But at that time, that person seemed like a fantasy....


xo Aishah Ansari

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